


Robbery Gone Right

by wandering_revolve



Category: IT Crowd
Genre: Anal Sex, Dorks in Love, M/M, Mention of Season 3 Episode 5, Season 3 Episode 2 spoilers, Season 3 Episode 3 Spoilers, Snogging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 04:15:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11176824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandering_revolve/pseuds/wandering_revolve
Summary: Perhaps the snog session during the robbery was more than a distraction.





	Robbery Gone Right

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Alas, I neither own this show, nor the characters. If I did, I would give shippers more reasons to ship this pairing. ;)

Roy can’t take his mind off it.

It’s been two weeks since his involvement with the robbery. But that’s not how he remembers it. Rather, it’s been two weeks since Moss snogged the shite out of him. What’s amazing is that Moss carried on like nothing happened. Roy expected to recover and carry on as well, but he can’t. Not when he’s had a few dreams where they did much more than kissing. Each time Roy woke up disgusted, aroused, and questioning his feelings. He’s never viewed Moss as more than a friend, and he hasn’t necessarily thought him attractive…until now. Looking back, he finds the rough, public wall snogging hot as _fuck_. None of the women he dated treated him so roughly, and now he wonders why. 

They haven’t brought it up.

Why should they? It was a mere distraction. Sure, it was dramatic and unnecessary, but Moss didn’t mean anything by it. Roy wishes they hid behind the nearby bins instead so that he wouldn’t have to face these damn feelings. Then again, he didn’t know these feelings existed. Perhaps he’s always felt something toward his best mate. Well, their connection is undeniable, that’s for certain.

It’s a typical Wednesday afternoon, and the duo sit at their respective computers. Jen’s away on break—she’s fantasizing about bloody shoes again—so they are alone at the moment. Given it's been 14 days, Roy feels a stirring—a need to bring the issue up, although he has no idea how to go about it.

He chances a look at Moss, who is busy typing away, before turning back to his computer. 

“Snogging,” he utters in a high-pitched voice. Well, that’s one way to do it.

“What?”

Roy wracks his brain. “Snogging…is great,” he continues, “especially when it’s rough…and happens against a wall…” 

He hears Moss stop typing. “Dammit, Roy, I told you no porn on the work computers!”

“Ah, no porn today, just…” he trails off. He feels dark eyes on him.

“You feeling all right?”

He throws his hands up. “Bloody great! Never better.” In reality, he feels himself quickly loosing control and chews his nails.

“Fantastic party, huh?”

“What?”

“You, obviously, got some action last night.” Moss grins.

“No, there was no party…” 

“Who was the girl, then?”

“There was no girl, either.”

Moss’s smile fades. “Then what, may I ask, are you goin’ on about, Roy?”

Roy sighs and leans forward, fisting his hands in his shaggy hair. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Okay, Mr. Mystery, now you’ve got me curious.”

Roy hears Moss rise from his chair and approach his desk. A pair of palms slam down on the wood, which makes Roy jump. Moss peers down at him over his thick, black glasses.

“Let me have it!” he exclaims.

Roy shakes his head, unable to look at him. “No, you don’t want it.”

“Sure I do! I’m so flippin’ bored.”

“I heard you typin’ away over there. You can’t be bored.”

“Actually, I was just testing the keys on my keyboard. I do that every now and then to make sure they all work.”

“Isn’t that called typing?”

Moss grins. “Not when the computer’s off.”

“Then how do you know if…?” He holds up his hands and leans back in his seat. “Forget it. Never mind.”

“No, you made me get up and walk all the way over here, so you can tell me!”

Roy sighs. He can’t argue with that. Besides, who knows when he’ll summon the courage to confess this again. 

“Okay, you really want to know what’s up?” He pauses, chasing the words around. Moss stares at him expectantly, dark eyes boring into baby blues. He draws in a deep breath. “Iloveditwhenyoushovedmeagainstthewallandsnoggedmesenselessaftertherobbery.”

Moss keeps staring at him for a good minute. “Right, you like Pink Floyd’s _The Wall_ , and you’re a senseless robber.” He shrugs. “That’s all right, I guess. Just be careful.”

“No, no, Moss, this isn’t about the psychedelic magic that is Pink Floyd!” He takes a moment to breathe. “You’re so bloody daft sometimes.”

“Well, maybe you should talk like a human instead of a robot!”

“Ugh, fine!” 

Forget speaking. Maybe he can act it out with better results. With that, he gets up and slams himself back into the wall. 

“Does this ring any bells?”

“Oooh, I love charades!” Moss stands back and studies him. “Hold on, give me a moment.” He snaps his fingers. “Got it. You’re Hangman.”

“No, you did this to me, remember?” He lifts off the wall before pushing back against it.

“I pushed you into the wall?”

Roy doesn’t respond. Instead, he raises his brows and rolls his head forward in a half-nod. The gears turn in Moss’s head before his eyes widen.

“Oh my God.” He blinks. “You want to talk about that?”

“Damn right I do. I want to tell you about how much I loved it!” He clamps his mouth shut.

Moss gapes. “You mean to tell me that…you liked it when I…?” Roy nods slowly. “But, Roy, that was just a distraction from the police, wasn’t it?”

Roy diverts his gaze awkwardly and peels himself away from the wall. “Yeah, and it was a stupid idea, but it worked in, ah, more ways than one, I suppose you could say.”

Moss stands stock still, his eyes scanning his mate. In a flash, he appears in front of him. “You like it when I…,” he slams a gobsmacked Roy into the wall, “…do this?” 

A thrill races up and down his spine. “Oh, yes,” he squeaks, his face turning red despite himself.

Moss smirks. “ I do too.”

Roy blinks in surprise. Before he questions it, Moss presses his body against his and crashes their lips together. The contact transports Roy back to when this first happened – when danger, adrenaline, and confusion collided. Although they’re in public again, this time feels different. Roy actually wants it. His brain burns out like a fried motherboard. At this very moment in time, all he can think about is Moss’s warm body, soft lips and occasional hard teeth.

Moss thrusts his clothed erection against Roy’s, who gasps in response and provides Moss the opportunity to slip his tongue inside. There wasn’t tongue the first time…or maybe there was. Roy can’t exactly remember through the chaos. It’s obvious they both lack experience in this department, but they try their damnedest. Tongues meet clumsily but enthusiastically, which results in copious amounts of saliva escaping down their chins.

Moss starts thrusting against Roy in earnest. Roy arches his back into him and moans into the kiss. He wraps his arms around Moss’s waist, his erection leaking in his trousers. They jump apart at the sound of the doorknob turning. Moss practically leaps toward his chair and misses. He falls to the ground with a loud _thud_. 

Roy sits down like he’s got a stick lodged up his arse. He wipes at his mouth and tries getting his breath and arousal under control. Sure enough, Jen struts in like she’s trying out for _Britain’s Next Top Model_.

“What do you think of my new shoes?” She twirls around with a grin.

“Yeah, they’re nice,” Roy answers, his voice high and tight.

Moss pops up from the ground. “Hi, Jen!” He sits down properly. “They’re real lovely.”

“Thanks.” She looks back and forth between them. “You two okay? You both look a bit flushed.”

“We are doing splendid, Jen, how are you?” Moss responds.

“Well, I’m happy now that I got the shoes I wanted.” She flashes another grin.

Moss nods. “Glad to hear it. You deserve to be happy.”

“Awww, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“When I’m not playing the role of your husband, I think so.”

Roy suddenly shoots up from his seat. “I’ll be right back!” He leaves the room with a slight crouch in his posture.

“What’s his problem?”

“Hard to say,” Moss replies before realizing his pun and snickers to himself.

Jen just shakes her head and retreats to her office.

**R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M/R/M**

“Thanks for inviting me over for a movie at your terrible flat.”

“Well, I suggested your house, and you flipped out, so we’re here.”

“Only because my mum is there. She wouldn’t give us our space.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I like my space.”

“Ha, MySpace is dead.”

Moss furrows his brow. “I know that, Roy.” He sighs. “I just don’t like my mum hanging around us.” 

Roy shrugs. “Fair enough.” He reaches behind their heads and grabs an opened popcorn bag.

“How long’s that popcorn been sitting there?”

“It’s only two weeks old. That's a week newer than last time.” He sets the bag down between them. “Help yourself.”

Moss makes a face but scoops out a handful anyways. Roy doesn’t seem to notice the difference between stale and fresh foods.

Right when their ‘80s action flick starts playing, Moss says, “We are still way too close to the screen.”

“Way to ruin the moment, Moss!”

“What moment? The opening credits are still rolling.”

“Yeah, but there’s awesome music. You’d hear it if ya listened!”

With that being said, Moss shuts his trap and listens to the retro action music. 

After an hour of dull character dialogue and hardly any stimulating explosions, he remarks, “I’m bored.”

“Ugh, me too,” Roy agrees through a mouthful of old candy.

“I don’t get it. Why do they just stand around and blabber on about chess matches when the Earth’s about to be destroyed? It doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t know, Moss, but it’s not very exciting.” He pauses the movie.

“I know something that is exciting…”

“What?”

“Snogging.”

“God, I thought you’d never ask.”

Roy tosses the half-empty candy box in a random direction and tackles Moss to the couch. Moss squirms beneath him.

“Roy, I can’t breathe!”

“Oh, sorry.” He sets both hands on either side of Moss’s body and holds himself up.

Moss draws in a few wheezing breaths. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

They stare each other down, unsure who makes the first move. 

“Your turn,” Moss chimes after a moment. 

That gives Roy all the confidence he needs. Without a moment’s hesitation, their lips collide forcefully. 

“Mmmm, I can’t…believe…you want this…too,” he utters in between kisses.

“Why’d you…think…I did it?”

Roy breaks the contact and sits back. “It was a distraction, wasn’t it?”

Moss smirks. “Only partially. The timing was too flippin’ brilliant.”

“You mean you’ve wanted this for a while?”

Moss shrugs. “Nobody but you. Now get back down here.”

“Greedy bastard…”

Roy reconnects their mouths with less force. Moss doesn’t try to add more pressure, either. They slow it down and take the time to massage each other’s lips until Roy boldly introduces his tongue into the equation. It’s like their tongues know what to do this time, the slick muscles twirling around each other with much less saliva. 

They just kiss like this for what feels like eons when Moss breaks it. “We should…take our shirts off…it’s getting hot.”

Roy sits back, drawing in a deep, hesitant breath. Although he’s not overweight, he’s not exactly fit. It’s enough to make him self-conscious. He sits back, peels his black t-shirt off, and throws it to the side. Without thinking, he crosses his arms tightly over his exposed, pale chest.

Moss quirks a curious brow. “Do you have breasts?”

“No, but I feel like I do.”

“It’s all right. I’ve heard it’s healthy for a man to be in touch with his feminine side.”

Suddenly feeling ridiculous, Roy drops his arms with a snort. “I’m no bloody woman! I just…ever since that day at the office…”

“What day?”

“Y’know, that day you spilled coffee on me.”

Moss thinks it over before his face brightens. “Oh, yeah! I remember that bit. Then I remember being alone with Douglas in the office. He was down on the floor, and I had my pants off.” Roy gaped. "No, wait...I was the one on the floor, and he had his pants off. That sounds right."

“It doesn't sound right to me, Moss! Did he touch you?”

Moss shrugs. “I went to my happy place again.”

Roy heaves a sigh. “That bastard must have it out for us.”

“You know what I saw there? I saw computers and coffee and loads of French fries. Oh, and I saw you. We cuddled while watching _Star Trek_.”

Roy blinks. “Why _Star Trek_?”

“I dunno.” 

Moss undoes his tie and shirt and drops them on the floor. He exhales in relief. 

Roy stares down at Moss’s beautifully tanned chest. “I never thought I’d say this, but you’re lovely.”

Moss giggles. “Oh, stop it.”

Roy sets his hands down on the warm flesh and experimentally runs his hands along the expanse, causing Moss to shiver. He arches his back and lets out a muffled whimper each time Roy brushes his erect nipples.

“You like that, eh?”

Moss just stares at him, his cheeks a light pink. Roy chuckles and places his thumbs on both buds, rubbing gently.

“God,” Moss mutters.

“How far you wanna go with this?”

“I love you, so we can go as far as you want.”

Roy blinks and stops his movement. “Are you just saying that as a “heat of the moment” type thing, or are you serious?”

“Well, I’m not hot anymore, but the concern is appreciated, my love.”

Roy’s brow furrows. “You said you love me, Moss.”

“Oh, did I?” He grits his teeth. “You aren’t supposed to know that!” He sighs and attempts to sit up, only to have Roy keep his hands on his chest.

“Where do you think you’re goin’?” 

“I’m leaving, Roy.” 

“No, Moss, you aren’t runnin’ from this. Besides,” he leans in and murmurs, “would you want to leave your lover all hard and alone?”

“Lover?” He scoffs. “I don’t have a lover.”

Roy sighs. “I’m talking about me, you git!”

“Ah, right.” He pauses. “We’re lovers now?”

“If it gets you to stay here." 

Moss ponders on that for a moment before relaxing back against the couch. 

They go much farther than Roy anticipated. Alcohol may or may not have been involved. Either way, they end up on Roy’s bed, with Roy thrusting into his best mate like an animal. The bed squeaks and rocks with their erratic movement.

“God, Moss, you feel so fuckin’ good!” 

“Oh, yes, Roy! Flippin’ shove it in there!”

See, the thing is they are both loud – horrifyingly loud. A few angry neighbors pounded on the door and threatened to call the police. For all Roy knows, the police are actually on the way. Funny how it doesn’t bother him. At least he can say he had fun prior to his arrest.

Moss works his leaking erection furiously. “I’m almost to the Summit of Love!”

Roy quirks a brow when Moss’s eyes widen, and his body tenses. “Jesus flippin’ Christ!” he screams as his orgasm rocks through him, unleashing several spurts of wet, sticky warmth onto his fist and abdomen.

Roy stares at him in awe. He’s never witnessed another man climax before. The sight, along with the sensation of Moss’s tight entrance pulsing around him, gives Roy a one-way ticket to the Summit of Love.

“Oh-oh, God, Moss!” He drops his jaw and head forward as he unloads into the condom.

When the pleasure finally gives way to sensitivity, Roy pulls out, disposes of the condom, and collapses beside Moss. They both lie there for a while, gaping like fishes.

“Oh my God,” they say in unison. 

Roy’s throat and back feel like they’re on fire. “What…did we just do?” he croaks after a moment.

“Something amazing, I think,” comes the response.

“Right, right.”

Silence, followed by a rustling of sheets as Moss wiggles closer to Roy. 

“What are you doing?”

Roy glances at him, unprepared for the hurt look that flashes across the other man’s features. His own features soften.

“Give me a minute to cool off.”

Moss smiles.


End file.
